The Inept Adept & The Almost Last Unicorn Read online

  “You’re ugly as sin and I don’t like looking at something so ugly.”

  Chauncey looked at Lac. ‘Is that it?’

  ‘Human, is that supposed to be funny?’

  Chauncey and Lac moved forward a step. Then two.

  ‘Do not come any closer or the deal is off. I will eat these two and fly away.’

  “You cannot fly well. I will kill you before you can go very far. Or you’ll drown in the ocean right behind you.” The dragon was very close to the cliff edge.

  The dragon looked behind him. It was true he couldn’t fly well. If he tried to flap his right wing he would do more damage to it. He knew he could not get airborne with his injury.

  The mention of the injury reminded him of the pain he was now experiencing. It was getting more intense as they talked. And he was so hungry. He needed the magic. I have to have the magic.

  The dragon’s arms were getting tired. They were not used to carry much weight except for short durations. It had been nearly an hour ago when he snatched Nadilia and Shastra.

  As the dragon’s arms grew weary they drooped. Nadilia was in the dragon’s right claw and Shastra in his left. As the arms lowered Shastra and Nadilia got closer to each other. Nadilia was still unconscious from the blast of the first fire ball as well as slightly singed. Shastra was in pain from the dragon’s claws and feeling very weak.

  Shastra though injured would by using her healing magic on Nadilia would also begin the healing process within her. She waited for an opportunity to heal the human girl.

  As the dragon’s claws lowered Shastra was able to reach out and touch the tip of her horn to Nadilia’s hand. The healing began as soon as the horn contacted the girl.

  The dragon was stymied by the human. He knew the human had a good point. The fireballs had really hurt. A few more in the right places could seriously harm him. If it happened if he was over the water…!!?

  No, the dragon definitely did not like that idea. Maybe they do not know I’m a fire breathing dragon. Perhaps they’ll move closer if I look distracted.

  “Chauncey what kind of dragon is this? How big do they get?”

  ‘He is the biggest I know of. There are different types of dragons. The most fearful is the ones who can emit fire.’

  “Do you think he’s one of those?”

  ‘I have been watching him and yes, I do think so. See the edges of his nostrils? They looked burned to me.’

  Lac stepped closer. The dragon seemed not to notice. Lac and Chauncey took another step.

  “Another few steps will do I think.”

  ‘You have a plan?’ They both took a step as they chatted. Then another.

  “Well, ah…I’m not sure it’s a great plan but something is better than nothing I guess.”

  “Chauncey turn around. Put your backside to him.”

  This Chauncey did. The dragon watched and wondered why he was seeing the unicorn’s posterior.

  They are up to something.

  The dragon decided they were as close as they’re going to get. He signaled the first stomach to begin preparations for fire.

  ‘Yes. He is a fire breather.’ Chauncey took a look at the dragon. ‘I begin to see and hear him getting the fire ready.’

  “Flick your tail Chauncey. As if to brush away flies.” Lac placed his hand on Chauncey’s backside.

  Chauncey’s beautiful white tail rose. As the tail stood tall one white strand of hair fell. It floated down and landed on the back of Lac’s hand.

  The fire was almost ready. The dragon tried to be nonchalant. He didn’t want to give the game away. If he burns them to a crisp they will still have some magic left. But he must ingest them quickly.

  Almost ready. Tra la la, tra la la.

  The dragon opened his mouth slowly so not to scare off the magic.

  Lac couldn’t wait any longer. He had to react, he had to do something. Although this gambit seemed nothing but folly he threw Chauncey’s tail hair.

  The unicorn tail hair streaked toward the dragon. The dragon was not aware of it and even if he had seen a hair, albeit a thick strand of unicorn hair, moving toward him what could it do? It’s just one measly hair and that couldn’t hurt a huge powerful dragon right?

  Certainly not.

  Before the dragon opened his maw he turned to the mage and the unicorn. He wanted to see their faces the moment before his fire consumed them.

  As Chauncey’s tail hair neared the dragon Lac did the only thing he could think off. His hands and mind worked as one. His mind thought what he wanted to do and just let his hands follow on their own accord.

  He thought of that hair twining itself around the dragon’s snout. He found, though he wasn’t that aware of it, that he was helping the strand of unicorn hair reach his goal. His right hand moved as his mind raced. He imagined twirling the hair around the dragon’s muzzle.

  The unicorn hair encircled the dragon’s snout. Once, twice…

  What now?

  Of course the thing to do was to tie it off. But how…?

  Still using his fingers he made as if he was tying the laces of his shoes.

  And the unicorn hair was tied in a knot!

  The unicorn hair was situated behind the nostrils of the snout which flared out. It was the thinnest part of the muzzle of the dragon.

  The tail hair wasn’t going anywhere. The encircled unicorn hair was too tight to move forward or backward. It was in place! And staying in place!

  The first reaction by the dragon was to let go of Nadilia as he tried to use the tip of a claw to snap the hair. Nadilia fell the twelve or so feet.

  She landed hard but was only slightly dazed from the fall. While the dragon tried to get at the hair wrapped around his snout she scooted away. She was still injured but the healing power of Shastra had done wonders.

  Chauncey charged.

  The dragon looked up and shrieked. He reacted in time worn fashion. He jumped into the air to escape the killing unicorn horn. It was an instinctive movement. Without conscious thought as he leaped in the air for flight he let go of Shastra.

  Shastra fell. The dragon leaped.

  Chauncey could not reach the dragon before the dragon was aloft.

  CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

  All four of them were near the edge of the cliff and watched the progress of the black dragon. He was heading in the direction of the island about a mile distant. It was also a chalk block with beautiful white cliffs. The chalk cliff island was nearly the same height as the chalk cliff they stood upon.

  The dragon could not fly with its torn and injured wing. But it could glide and if he didn’t extend his wings too far it wouldn’t hurt so much.

  They watched the huge reptile glide toward the island. They all had one and the same thought in mind. I hope it crashes into the cliff face.

  It looked like it might. The dragon could not gain altitude and it was below the top of the cliff. However, as the dragon neared the cliff face the updraft caught it and raised him.

  The dragon had enough lift to make the top of the island.

  They could see the white cliff, the green sward on top of the chalk and the black dragon picking at the unicorn hair.

  Nadilia was the first to speak, “he’s going to get away isn’t he?”

  ‘Yes,’ Chauncey said.

  “Yes,” Lac said.

  Nadilia was furious and still sore from the dragon’s claws and she should be forgiven for the whine, “can we not do something?”

  Even if they had a boat there would be no place to dock it. And if they could find a way to reach the island they had no way to scale the cliffs. All the chalk cliffs were vertical and sheer. They couldn’t help themselves and pondered it but it was a futile consideration.

  “I’m afraid Nady that we cannot do anything.”

  ‘You have done much Lac. You and Chauncey have saved us.’

  “Thank you Shastra.”

  “What was that Lac?”

  “Oh, ah…I was just respon
ding to Shastra thanking us.” Before he could finish Nadilia was in Lac’s arms and kissing him.

  By the time the four returned to the meadow Nadilia was almost as good as new. Maybe more so. As she rode Shastra she kept looking at Lac. Where did he learn to kiss like that?

  Lac was thinking about the Nadilia’s curves. Nadilia had a more womanly figure than Esme. Esme had a nice figure but was slender, more long than curvy.

  Nadilia on the other hand had unbelievable curves. It was especially apparent when they had kissed. She had clutched him so tightly against her that he had no longer any doubts about that. He wondered why he hadn’t noticed it before.

  In the meadow Portersbee waited with Billy and a few of Lac’s classmates. Most of the people who had been in the meadow had left. A dragon sighting was bad enough but one that invaded their meadow was the cause for much consternation and dread. Way too much consternation and dread to hang around. The beast might return.

  The villagers left with the tacit understanding if the dragon does come back the magician will take care of it. Therefore, Portersbee and his students waited.

  That really didn’t suit the magician well but he had no way to get in on the chase. He’d just have to sit and wait. As an instructor of young and hopeful mages he had learned patience.

  When the unicorns arrived carrying Lac and Nadilia the students yelled and carried on and rushed Lac. Somehow they knew.

  It was the first time Lac had ever received anything close to this triumph. Winning races had made him feel good but outside of friends it made the losers feel bad and the loser’s friends and family feel worse.

  Today, at this time, everyone was feeling good for him. It was heady stuff and he reveled in it.

  Portersbee had Billy and Nadilia and a few of the younger students go and fetch lunch. It was early afternoon. Lac was now very hungry. Shastra needed forage and she went to her favorite places to graze. Chauncey stayed to tell Portersbee all he had not been able to relate earlier as well as the latest incident.

  The magician never interrupted Chauncey. Had Lac related the same tale the magician would have been too incredulous to believe it. It was extremely hard to believe as it was. However, unicorns never lied and as far as the magician knew they rarely exaggerated.

  ‘Lac will be a great magician. Perhaps a great wizard. I wish my old friend Barry Ding could know.’

  “Thank you Chauncey.” The reality of Chauncey’s last comment brought Lac back to earth. “But I have never passed any of the tests so far.” Portersbee said nothing as the food arrived. Lac was famished. The instructor just looked at Lac and stroked his chin.

  When Lac had finished Portersbee silenced the crowd. He took Lac aside and walked with him. After a bit he stopped Lac.

  “Lac, I believe every word the unicorn says. I’d be a fool not to and I am no fool. However, you are correct. You need to start passing the tests. And I have one for you now.”

  He pointed to a blanket which had a picnic basket lying on top of it. “I want you to raise that basket three feet. Three feet only.”

  Lac nodded. He focused. He threw out his hands, palms down, fingers splayed. The basket rose.

  Up to one foot. Up to two feet. Up to three feet.

  It kept on rising.

  It flew over the trees as Lac looked on. He was getting a little depressed at his failures.

  Portersbee smiled. He idly wondered to himself how far it might have gone. As he put his hand on Lac’s slumped shoulder he said, “chin up Lac. You will learn to control your magic. I think Chauncey is right. You’ll be a magician the wizard Ding would be proud of.”

  “Let me look at your fingertips.” Lac gave the magician his hands but Portersbee was only interested in Lac’s right hand. He examined them. He patted Lac on the back. They returned to the others.

  “Master, what ever happened to the wizard Ding?”

  “Actually know one ever knew. After he had established the school and it had some fine instructors and some gifted students he disappeared. As the tale is told, one night he and a young women he had a, shall we say, a romantic attachment to, left the school. They were never heard from again.”

  EPILOGUE

  The black dragon eventually returned to his lair. There was no point in hunting since he couldn’t open his mouth. The power of a dragon’s jaw muscles is similar to a crocodiles. The biting down has tremendous power yet a strong man can easily keep a crocodiles jaws from opening.

  The dragon’s wing had eventually healed enough for him to reach the mainland. The dragon still had the ingested magic within him. But the healing cost the dragon. It was magic lost.

  The dragon walked back to his lair. A rather ignominious circumstance for a dragon.

  He knew given time that he would shrink without any ingestion of magic. Though he’d be hungry he’d also lose enough size that the unicorn hair rope would probably slip off his snout.

  He was quite happy not have other dragons observe his predicament. One, it would be enormously embarrassing. No dragon likes to be embarrassed but to have the other dragons know about his discomfiture would be insufferable.

  But the most important reason was one of self interest. Another dragon just might take this golden opportunity to attack him. It’s not unknown for dragons to eat other dragons. Hey, magic is magic after all and dragons are the most magical of creatures after unicorns. Do you actually think it possible for a many ton animal to otherwise take wing?

  So the black dragon decided he needed to be very well hidden. This was in his purview to do and he generated the fire in his first stomach to accomplish this. He didn’t like what he as about to do as he could guess it would hurt. Really hurt.

  Once he had stoked the fire to a very high heat he blew it out of his nostrils at the rock above the portal to his lair. He tried to minimize the blast and he did succeed to a degree. Yet, the membranes and edges of his nostrils still burned. He did succeed in melting enough of the rock to seal most the portal. A crevice was left which was small enough that any animal which could get through would be pulverized by the huge reptile. He wished, really wished some animal would try.

  So he settled down for a long slumber. But he was restless as the name of Oakendusk rolled around his little brain. Dragons do not have the mental acuity of unicorns nor the memory but a good hunting ground will not be easily forgotten.

  He needed some positive thoughts so he remembered a happier time. When as a younger and smaller dragon he flew over Oakendusk. He sensed magic. It was the strongest magic he had sensed to date. His mouth had watered. He was drawn to the magic as a moth to a flame. He was also very careful lest it was a trap.

  The night had been a moonless night and apparently no one was out to see the nighttime stars blink on and off as he passed in front of them. The magic led him a meadow.

  It took him a little while to see what was radiating the magic and where it was located. It wasn’t a what but a who. A human. The dragon was able to recognize two humans of differing sex lying next to each other and appeared to be engaged in a wrestling match. The one with magic had dark clothes on and the dragon didn’t know at first if the magical human was aware of him or not.

  The dragon decided to take a chance. He had so wanted to taste and ingest magic. It was something he had heard about and the stories piqued his interest. Although he didn’t know why these humans were engaged in exercise in the dead of night they certainly seemed too absorbed to notice him. Dragons do not reckon time as humans, elves and dwarves therefore the time of this human activity didn’t register in any way except if it was safe or not for him to make an appearance. Being in the dead of night with few humans in the shire the black dragon was emboldened.

  The dragon got his bearings and glided above the tree tops. He was above the meadow and aimed for the two humans. They never knew what hit them. The dragon fell on top of them and killed both of them at the same time.

  Though the dragon was conscious of being in an area where hum
ans congregated he willed his anxiety to subside enough so he could eat them. As soon as the second one was in his mouth he lifted off the meadow grass and was airborne. He wanted to swallow the human female in flight but his nervousness would not allow him this pleasure. He had to wait until he had found a safe aerie before his throat would relax from being so constricted from the fear of being caught.

  He had done it! He had magic inside of him and he loved it. He wanted more.

  A few months later enough of the humans were digested and he felt the hunger for more magic. He left the cave in the crags. He felt bigger. The ‘jones’ for more magic with his new size instilled him with single-mindedness in purpose and confidence in action. He was ready to find more magic.

  He took to the air. A large concentration of magic pulled him to the Galwich Mountains. He circled the mountains. He had the self-assurance any successful venture would inculcate. Perhaps it had been too easy for him. Perhaps he shouldn’t think it would be easy the second time. Yet good luck is a part of life. Who among us hasn’t found a coin or two or better under foot as we walked along? Yes, the ease of gaining his first taste of magic was a very lucky stroke indeed but his luck held.

  The dwarves under the Galwich Mountains and in their large cavern were celebrating their most important festival. Dwarven festivals aren’t any different from one to the next. They entail an astonishing amount of alcoholic imbibing, then extraordinary amount of eating followed by a prodigious amount of more drinking. The black dragon’s hunger had to be satiated. Whether he perceived a threat or not was irrelevant. He would not be denied this opportunity. He must have the magic.

  He made up his mind which is to say the craving for the magic determined his course of action. He could see the only way to the magic was through the large gate. Beyond the gate the cavern boasted one hundred or so dwarves, the dragon was not gifted in arithmetic. Seventy to eighty percent had passed out. The other twenty to thirty percent were conscious but hardly more than comatose.

  Using the fire which had been significantly aided through the magic he had so recently consumed he melted enough rock to widen the portal and entered the cavern. The few which had not passed out could do little in protecting themselves and their unconscious mates. He ate as many as he could then gathered the rest and sat on them as if they were eggs being incubated.